I’m healing 🤍

I’ve been suffering mentally for as long as I’ve known myself.

It only got harder.

If i knew back then what i know now, life would be so different but I’m grateful for the experience & the lessons it taught me because i grew in knowledge & power. I now accept all that i went through and believe i had to go through them to get a better understanding of life and myself.

I am the author of my own life and i understand that life doesn’t happen to me, it happens for me.

I’ve made it my highest priority to heal myself without distracting myself but instead allowing myself to feel everything, accepting & currently learning to let go.

Ive always been told talking things out is best, which I’ve always had trouble doing. For years I’ve been bottling everything up which did result into depression.

I grew up in toxic house hold which is a humbling experience. Many lessons came from it & I’m grateful. I now appreciate it because i can lead my own family in a better path.

Also everyday is a new chance at life & it’s improving.

I had to deal with heartbreaks which became a cycle because i weren’t learning the lessons put out for me. They all ended the same way, it even got to a point where the duration of the relationships was the same. In some way they were all similar to each other but had their own ways of teaching me something new.

I had to deal with rape in order to appreciate my body more than I THOUGHT i did, I appreciate everyone who was involved as it has widen my understanding & perspective of people but most importantly I appreciate my loved ones who stayed by me. I learnt that not everyone has pure intentions no matter how you see them or how you are towards them. It showed me the level of understanding i have with myself.

I had to deal with a violent partner in order to know that a man that puts his hands on you doesn’t mean love. I once glamourised physical abuse because i witness a family member go through it and thought it was love, it has widen my knowledge on mental health and i left the victim mentality that I’m the only one going through it & that every action causes a reaction (also goes to show you that manifestation is REAL).

I had to deal with homelessness in order to appreciate my space, my own company & privacy. It taught me to be grateful for what i have right now in order to get everything i desire, also to take accountability of my own actions.

I’m proud of my progress as it could have been worse but I’m forever grateful for how far I’ve come and the obstacles i overcame.

I hope i gave those of you who are suffering mentally hope that there is always better on the other side but it must start from you! Believe in yourself enough to know that you can overcome ANYTHING and there is light at the end of the tunnel. You are not what happened to you, dont make your downfall define you. You’re greater than that.

Stay Fabulous, always 🤍

Death.

Death has been knocking on your door, no matter where you move.

You refuse to open the door as you know your work here isn’t done.

But i know you feel to give in.

Thats not the answer

Thats not the way

Your life WILL blossom so please give it some time.

You’re love.

Love from you ❤️

Love lost?

I lost some people that i loved with my whole heart.. well.. they lost me.

There was nothing i wouldn’t do for these individuals. I honoured them, supported them, adored them but most importantly, i loved them.

Why does it always take such a unfortunate circumstance for you to see ones true colour? such a traumatic experience, so serious and degrading?

Ill still show love regardless but I’ve learnt to show it from a distance.

I’m ready to speak my truth even if that means it hurts you but brings me comfort & peace.

I mean no harm and i don’t wish to hurt nobody but for once it feels good to put myself FIRST!

I’ve taught people near enough all my life that i come second or last because I’m patient enough to wait, I’m willing to wait.

I’ve always showed people that they come before me always, i will make sure you’re good before myself. To me, that was showing love. But to me NOW that’s not showing love to myself.

I come first, always.

Love.

You are everything and everything is within you.

I hope you’re beginning to understand that the world is inside of you.

Everything starts with YOU first.

You want happiness? Find it with yourself.

You want peace? Fine it within yourself.

You want love? Love yourself unconditionally first.

There’s nothing you cannot do. You can do anything you want to do, be whoever you want to be.

Greatness starts from you.

Get rid of these limiting beliefs of yourself.

You are great

You are Love

You are joy

You are peace

You are fabulous, STAY Fabulous ❤️

2020

2020

Happy new year everyone!

I know we’re 2 months in but i wanted so send my best wishes to everyone! It’s still the new year! (Make it a happy one). Ive entered this new year with a positive mindset for a start, good feelings as i strongly believe everyone will accomplish everything they set out for themselves. This is the year of movements! Work hard, work smart! Be consistent and know that it will come to you in good time, show gratitude in all that you have and in all that is to come! Have faith and show LOVE!

Love.

Love! Can i love you? Love you without thinking twice, without the doubts & without hesitation. You need love & i wanna be the one to give it to you. You grew up with issues and resentment towards women. You don’t trust easily but you gave into me. I want to help you, love you. I want you to heal. Love without limits, love without shame, love without doubts. Love is everything. Its all you need to get by. Most importantly, love YOU.

Suicide

“It always crosses my mind, but it’s just a thought”.

Everyone has their own opinions when it comes to suicide (well for everything really), some thinks its an act of the coward, some say “only weak minded people commit suicide”, some say its a selfish act.

Really it’s looked at as an “easy way out”, but it isn’t. Your temporary situation may be ongoing right now but it doesn’t require a permanent result. As i’m writing this i’m having to soak in every word i’m writing for myself because i too have suicidal thoughts. Its been ongoing for years but i like to think of myself as an strong individual. I know whatever i go through i will get through. I respect that not everyone has the same heart and mind as i do but i refuse to allow my situations to define me, you should too. Everything happens for a reason which you may not be clear off yet but it will make sense to you soon.

It’s important to be kind to everyone you come across because you never know what they’re battling with and a simple dispute could be their last straw. I’m not a therapist nor am i professionally experienced in this field but i can only advise anyone dealing with mental health from my own personal experiences that journaling and praying is what keeps me sane on a day to day basis but for long term, i would recommend therapy. Simply speaking to someone who you don’t know and who doesn’t know you and who also has the mental capacity and patience for you and whatever situation you’re facing.

⁃ Find your purpose to go on & love yourself through it.

⁃ Daily affirmations

⁃ Cry if you need to, prove nothing or explain yourself to no one but yourself. Crying isn’t a sign of weakness it’s a release.

⁃ Take time out for yourself whenever you need to.

These are what i use to get through hardships without explaining myself to anyone.

My bounce back will be amazing, your bounce back will be amazing and we will look back to this and be grateful we never gave up 💕

Trust & Enjoy your Journey

Life will happen to you but its for you to make sure you don’t allow it to define you, you’re not what happens/happened to you. You overcame so much and you will continue to overcome some more. Anything life throws at you is to build you, strengthen you, give you the confidence you need to face what is yet to come. Its also a lesson to learn, you will continue to face the same lesson until you’ve mastered it. You have to love your self more within the process. Trust the process. You don’t get given anything you cannot handle. God, the universe, sky-daddy, the higher powers.. whatever suits you best knows your strengths and knows your limits. TRUST! It may not feel good right now but everything always works out in the end, just trust.

Hardships builds character and confidence. You will also have confidence in yourself knowing you will overcome anything sent to destroy you, shift your vibration that sets you back from living the life you deserve. As hard as it may seem in the moment, change your mindset to something you love, something that makes you feel good, something positive and redirect the outcome. You’re in control of your own life.

Let go. Pt2

I’m learning to let go of people who don’t value me, use “love” as an excuse, belittle me every chance they get, only acknowledge me when it’s beneficial to them.

I’m learning to let go of the past so i can move forward. I tend to hold on thinking there’s no better out there until i’m force to let go to see that there is better.

Letting go of the hurt they once caused me, the betrayal, the lies, the deceit.

Take nothing personal as they only done what was best for THEM, they did the best they knew how.

There will always be better out there, i won’t limit myself.

Holding on does more pain than letting go.

People will always choose themselves over me so why not do the same?

Remember why you chose to let go in the first place before you think about giving another chance.

⁃ You come first, always!

Cycle.

There could be some days you may feel like you’re going through a cycle and receiving the same results over and over and it simply means you’re not learning from your mistakes so you will repeat that cycle until you learn from it.

Learn to reprogram your mind and focus on things from a different perspective. Instead of dwelling and focusing on things that you don’t want (which you will receive), try and focus more on the things that you do want (which you will receive).

At the same time show LOVE & GRATITUDE for those very things and watch everything you desire and deserve come at you in abundance.

(Keep your vibrations high)

Stay Fabulous 🌹