A letter to you 🌹
I wrote about you, at the age of 14 i wrote about you, inside and out. Maybe thats partly why i find it so hard to let go.
I described your soul, your well-being, your actions, your kindness, your love, i described you down to your bones and manifested you into my life. Its true when they say “when a writer falls in love with you, you can never die” i fell in love with you because i asked for you, i manifested you. You’re mine forever.
Nothing happens by accident nor do i regret anything that happened. I believe we got together to get a taste of each other, in that moment in time we needed each other, the love, the support, the power, the teachings.. the teaching i received from you gave me more power than i knew i had. You helped mould me into the person i am today and i show gratitude daily for the strength, the mindset and love. It hasn’t been all good but it wasn’t all bad. The good outweighs the bad because it was real but the bad was real bad, you understand? Ive practice gratitude in stronger ways which also forced me to accept the positive in situations, always. Never dwell on the negative because it will keep you there, i know from experience. I’ve lived in a dark space for years and got so used to it that it didn’t even seem dark. But you saw the darkness and loved me through it, thank you. You have ways of someone i know, maybe thats why i was drawn to you also from what i grew up on is what i asked for in you. To ask and believe is to receive, whether its what you believe you want or not. What i asked for within you wasn’t what i really wanted after experiencing it first hand but again i would like to thank you for that experience because we both learnt a valuable lesson out of it alongside those who experienced it with us. We both have some growing and healing to do as individuals. We’re both carrying a heavy weight from the past that left us traumatised, we’re both damaged in ways we cant explain, i needed you to see that I’m not perfect. I was so comfortable walking around pointing fingers blaming the next person not knowing i had a role to play. I still have a lot to learn but thank you for opening my eyes, opening my eyes to what i deserve. In the episode of it all i forgot that it weren’t all about me and that you was dealing with your own battles too. I was a selfish being but now I’m confident in changing that to say i am more self-full. Self-full enough to always put myself first!, self-full enough to make myself happy first, self-full enough to not stand strong in anything that defeats my purpose. You first said “if I’m not alright, nothing is alright”, till this day i stand by that. You made me experience some of the best days of my life and some of the worst, theres always a balance. I’ve been exposed to some things i wish to never face, never feel so i make it a priority to raise my vibration, always whenever i feel like I’m heading back down that road. I want to thank you for always loving me the best you know how, always supporting me, for keeping me balanced. I will always remember whats been said. I will always remember the love. I will always remember you. 🌹