Hurt, Healing & Relationships

“If you’re hurting you shouldn’t be dating”.

What can you really offer someone when you’re hurting?

Have you noticed when your heart is broken it affects everything you do? You lack motivation, you don’t feel yourself, it effects your perspective, views & how you feel about others, yourself and certain situations.

In fact, if you’re hurting you should be taking the time out to heal yourself, get right with YOU. When your heart is broken and you’re trying to love a significant other all you’re doing is taking from that person. You’re not in any position to be giving.

“Hurt people, hurt people”.

Like I’m constantly saying in my previous posts, “you receive what you believe” so don’t you think the more you’re screaming “men are trash or women ain’t shit” you’re attracting just that? As long as you’re putting your energy into it you will receive whatever it is. People don’t just become “trash” there is always a reason behind it, there is always a hidden message behind every emotion so instead of demeaning others, understand that just like you they’ve been through something which shifted their perspective and views on love/relationships.


Do you understand how selfish it is to jump into a new relationship straight after a previous relationship? It’s like covering an open wound without treating it which can cause infections which can be worse than the original wound. TAKE TIME OUT FOR YOURSELVES, ITS NECESSARY, ITS NEEDED.

The healing process isn’t easy!

It can be lonely, hard, you can easily fall back into old habits for comfort and it can be painful but it is so necessary in order for you to heal and move on and if you don’t, every other relationship you try to build on could lead to a disaster. Here are some steps I’m confident in knowing can help;

Acknowledge & Honor your pain: To avoid your pain is to increase it and this is how break downs happen, you’re so focused on ignoring your feelings and just ‘getting on with it’. Allow yourself to feel EVERYTHING, time and patience are key within the healing process.

Reaching out: To others either a professional, family or friends of the same sex

Take a break: Distract your mind from time to time by doing something you enjoy could really the process such as; reading, journaling, tuning into podcast that can raise your vibrations, watching motivational videos, shopping, dancing.. anything that makes you feel good!

Learn from it: Having the attitude of learning will allow you to appreciate the value within the experience, it will also teach you about time and patience and what to from what not to do for future reference.

Move on: stop allowing the hurt and suffering to define you, you’re not what you’re going through. Pain is never permanent although in the moment it feels as if it is. It robs your happiness and living. There is so much power in moving on and letting things be for your own sake and sanity.

Trust the process, always.

It can be beautiful  

Published by Shanshaniese

Express to release from within, hold nothing back and feel free. 💎 I express from experience whether it be from myself or those around me. I also share my opinion on selected subjects in which i wish to share with you. Hope you enjoy 🌹

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